


Patience

by suallenparker



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 4x02 Meet the new director, 4x02 add on, Angst, F/M, Fix It Fic, Fluff, Happy Ending, Love Confession, Romance, episode add on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-04
Updated: 2016-10-04
Packaged: 2018-08-19 14:04:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8211182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suallenparker/pseuds/suallenparker
Summary: Phil’s patience is tested while Melinda is away and he pushes for answers …





	

**Author's Note:**

> 4x03 hasn’t aired yet and we have to wait two weeks this time! No idea what’s going to happen so I’m speculating wildly and freely! Prepare for some angst! But I promise all will be good in the end. ;)  
> I hope you enjoy!

He always had great patience when it came to Melinda May. Getting to know each other. Bahrain. Everything. He could wait to close distances between them, it was usually the only thing that worked anyway.

But not this time. Because this time she was being attacked. And if she was being attacked, he needed to be by her side, have her back.

How the hell should he protect her if he couldn’t even be in the same room with her? If nobody would even tell him her status?

Three damn days ago the director had taken her away and Phil was done with being patient.

And he was going crazy!

He knew, what he was about to do was unfair but he was desperate. He found Simmons in the lab, looking at some weird charts on her computer. Or maybe it was a projection from one of the many specialized microscopes she had in there, who could tell? He clearly couldn’t.

The important part was, that he finally caught her alone. Then again, he came to her at two in the morning for that purpose.

As always, he had to make himself noticeable to make her look up from her science. This time he cleared his throat.

She flinched and straightened up before she turned around to him, her hand held to her chest.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. He hadn’t meant to scare her.

She took a breath. “Sir …”

He didn’t correct her, maybe authority might help get him what he needs. Three damn days.

“How is she?” he asked. They both knew why he was here.

She swallowed hard and looked down before she sought his gaze again. She was frowning. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly. Her voice was shaky.

No, not this! Not this speech! His heart stopped, his throat closed up. She couldn’t be saying this. She couldn’t mean it. He couldn’t lose Melinda. His knees felt weak.

“But that’s classified,” she added.

What? The blood rushed through his ears, his heart was now pounding. “But she’s alive?”

“Yes.” Simmons shook her head and “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have started the sentence with -”

“She’s alive?”

“Yes.”

Good. Oh God. Thank you. He closed his eyes for a moment. Melinda was still alive. Thank you! Then he looked at Simmons again. “Can you help her?” he asked. Because he needed to know. He needed to know that he would get her back alive!

“I’m not allowed to discuss this.” Simmons said and pressed her lips together.

Not good enough. “I’m not asking for details – I never understand the details anyway, I just need…” He sighed. “It’s May, Simmons. And I …” He shrugged. What should he tell her? That he hadn’t really slept since they took her away? That his stomach was in knots ever since it happened? He just needed a glimpse of hope. He swallowed hard. “What if it were Fitz and nobody would even tell you …” He shook his head. He knew this was difficult. He knew Simmons was tested daily and he knew what he asked of her was not only against regulations but against the strict instructions of the director. But still. “Just give me something,” he added. “Please.”

For a moment Simmons just stared at him, then she frowned again. “I’m forbidden to tell you about her, but if there’d be a person, any person and they were infected with some sort of ghost serum, I would isolate the components to work on an antidote and until then I fight tooth and nail to keep her alive until I can heal her.”

The knots in his stomach loosened a little and he could breathe a little easier. “Thank you,” he said.

Simmons nodded. “That theoretical person is very strong, Coulson.”

Yeah, she was. He pressed his lips together. She needed to stay like that because he was too weak to lose her. Didn’t matter how far away from him she would go or what would happen between them, if she would just survive this. That was all he asked.

“You should tell her how you feel once I get her back to you,” Simmons said, softly.

He snorted. “It’s not that simple.”

“I’ve been down _that_ road!”  Simmons pulled up her shoulders and sighed. “Life is complicated.”

Yeah, it was.

“You should tell her,” Simmons repeated, a bit sterner now. “Life is also short.”

  


o0o

  


He shouldn’t be here. He should be patient and wait for the morning to see her again. He just saw her a few hours ago and she was fine. She was back in her room, she was on bedrest and she would be fine. Everything would be fine.

But his stomach was still in knots and it was late and he wanted to just be near her for another moment.

Which was why he was standing in front of her room in the middle of the night.

He really should go.

He hadn’t planned on coming here, he really hadn’t.

He saw her this morning when Simmons had released her from quarantine and they all had been so happy to see her. Mack, Fitz, everyone. Simmons kicked them all out.

She was probably asleep and he shouldn’t bother her.

He swallowed and clenched his fists.

After finishing up his paper work tonight he had wanted to blow of some steam in the training room. Filling out those ridiculous forms the director insisted on always made him feel like punching something. So he changed into his training clothes and walked to the training room. And then he walked past it until he stopped in front of Melinda's room.

He wanted to knock at her door until she would open. He wanted to hold her and to just feel that she came back to him, that she was alive and breathing, but he’d gladly settle for just seeing her.

Then the door opened and Melinda May stood in front of him.

“Coulson?” Her voice was raspy.

His heart skipped a beat. She looked terrible, pale with dark circles under her eyes. She wore black leggings and a loose grey shirt, her feet were bare.

He really shouldn’t have bothered her. Damn him! He pulled up his shoulders and took a step back. “I’m so sorry, did I wake you?” he asked. Lame. God, what the hell was he even doing here? Life may be short but this wasn’t right. And yet it was just so very good to see her. He already felt lighter.

“You didn’t wake me,” she said. She turned and walked to her bed. The covers were tousled so she had been in bed. She left the door open and because he was weak and because he had missed her, he followed her to stop in the doorway while she sat down cross legged on her bed. She was shivering now, damn it.

“I should let you rest. I’m sorry,” he said and reached for the door knob.

She pulled a blanket around her shoulders and shook her head. “I should be the one apologizing.”

“Why?” He stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. “For what?”

Looking down, she pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. “For hurting you.”

That was ridiculous! “Melinda …”

“No, I was so scared that something would happen to you and I wanted to protect you and then I assaulted you and I’m so sorry.” She sighed and looked at him with pleading eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

It always surprised him in how many way this woman could break his heart. “It’s not your fault.”

She let go of the blanked and folded her hands in her lap. “I knew something was wrong, I should’ve done something about it.” She looked up to him. “I should’ve told someone.”

He sighed and set down next to her, at the end of the bed. “But you were scared and paranoid. Which from what I’ve gathered are symptoms of whatever attacked you.” He raised a brow and forced a smile. “Not that I gathered much because of all the red tape.”

She pressed her lips together.

He brushed his shoulder against hers. “And you didn’t hit me that hard anyway …”

She raised a brow.

This was better than guilt. He grinned. “Yeah, you hit me pretty hard.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He wanted to touch her again. He wanted to lay his arm around her shoulder and pull her against him. He swallowed. “I’m just glad you’re here now.”

She turned her head to look at him and he wanted to kiss her.

Bad idea. “How are you feeling?” he asked. She had beautiful eyes.

“Groggy,” she said and smiled. “ I hate taking pills.”

“I was so worried about you.” The words came out before he could stop them. Life was so short and she was alive. She was next to him. His heart was racing. “And now I’m just …” He pulled up his shoulders. The words on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed them down. They weren’t Fitz and Simmons and this would wasn’t the right time. “I’m so glad you to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” she mumbled.

His heart skipped a beat. “Simmons,” he said. “I asked about you and she started her sentence with I’m sorry and I got so …” He pulled in a breath. “For a moment I thought I lost you.”

She stared at him.

“I love you.”

She kept staring.

“Life is short and I died once already and I almost lost you this time and I just love you.” He wasn’t making any sense! “Simmons made me tell you.”

That was worse! Oh god, what was he doing?

“That’s not an excuse,” he added. “Not that I need an excuse! I just wanted you to know. I’m not expecting anything. I know you’re feeling differently and you’re grieving about Andrew and -”

“Shut up,” she said. She always gave the best advice.

“I’m sorry.”

Se snorted and shook her head. “You’re stupid sometimes, you know that?”

“Yes.” It was glaringly obvious right now! At least she hadn’t kicked him out. Yet.

“I love you so much,” she said. “I thought you knew.”

“How would he know? Where would he get such info? He bit his lip. Not the point! “You love me?” he asked.

“You mean a lot to me. The most.” Her voice was soft as velvet.

His heart started racing and he felt giddy and sedated at the same time. She had said something similar the day he had found out that she had reported on him to Fury two years ago. Two years. And she loved him!

He wanted to kiss her so badly. They leaned into each other slowly. He was so afraid she’d pull away, but she didn’t. Their lips touched and it was perfect. Sweet, short. He reached for her hands and she kissed him again.

He could stay like this forever and be content, just kissing her. Just holding her hand. She loved him.

“Is it okay if I stay for the night?” he asked. He didn’t want to leave, not now.

“Yes.”

“I’ll just sit in the chair, I won’t bother you.”

She raised a brow and squeezed his hands. “Or you could lie next to me.”

Yes, that would be perfect. He wanted to hold her. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

She snorted. “I’ve been poisoned, kind of.” She kissed him. “Not beat up.” She kissed him again. “Stay.”

Like he needed convincing. He smiled. “Scoot over!”

Moments later they’re cuddled up under the covers, facing each other, their foreheads touching. It was dark around them and he felt at peace.

“Do you want to take off your hand?” she asked. “I want you to be comfortable.”

God, she was perfect! “It’s fine,” he said. He could wear the protheses without experiencing pain or displeasure. It didn’t feel like his real hand, but it didn’t feel bad either. And he wanted both hands to touch her. He rubbed her shoulders.

“This is nice,” she said.

He kissed the top of her nose. “It really is.”

“Did Simmons really start by saying I’m sorry?”

“She’s British like that.”

She snorted. “I’m sorry I had you worried.”

“Doesn’t matter anymore. You’re okay now.” He kissed the top of her head. “And I’m in your bed so …”

She giggled and he blushed.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“I do!”

He swallowed hard. “As soon as you’re back in perfect health.” Otherwise Simmons would kill him!

Melinda kissed him. “I can be patient a bit longer,” she said. He felt her smile against his lips.

He smiled too. When it came to her, patience always paid off.

**Author's Note:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts! Reading from you guys always brightens my day. :) So please, if you have the time, drop me a comment?
> 
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